**this hair**

I phone mark:

“I have a dentists
appointment
today and I need
a ride.”

“what’s the matter
with your van?”

“I don’t
want to drive I
am pissed
off.”

“about what?”

“it has all come
down to
necessity and
insanity…”

“what has?”

“well, days ago
when I was with
you you
refused
to shave your balls and
now I have
this hair this hair
stuck like a root
between the bottom
two front
teeth and
it mostly sticks out
like a prickly
pine needle in
back toward the under-
part of
my tongue my tongue
can not pry
it loose no
matter
whichway I
flick it and
I am
fanatical!”

“have you tried
dental floss?”

“the dental floss
holder
is empty but
I did try
sewing thread
sawing
back and forth
up and down
infront inback and
in between and
it still didn’t
budge.”

“whatta bout
brushing?”

“I have ---
over and over and
over with
a tooth brush called
reach
and it didn’t ---
fuck!”

“o o.k., I’ll be right
over.”

I pull a long
strand
of hair from the side
of my head and
slide it in
between the
bottom middle teeth
tug back and forth
nothing moves so
I try the tip
of a nail
file
scratch and scrape
only
to stab myself
in the gum I
hold my mouth
in my hands and
gurgle bloody
obscenity sounds and
I throw the nail file
into the toilet.

mark was here
lickity split
laffin
down the hall-
way all the
way to the
bathroom.

I rinse my mouth
with lukewarm
water jut my bottom
jaw forward
and look into the mirror
and and and
that thing was
still stuck
still.

“man, mark I am
sick of dickin’
with this pubic hair
and I ain’t ever
suckin your balls
unless you
shave
em first!”

“I brought
my electric tooth
brush, try this and…
haHahahaHAhaha
…I’ll see what
else I can
find.”

I flip
the middle finger as
he walks off
to someplace else I
switch on the electric
toothbrush and watch
myself in the mirror as
it buzzes and whirrs
the little brush around
I stop and look and
now the pubic hair is
stuck out to the front
like like like
A BUSH!

mark was back and
he didn’t stop
laffing.

“stop being
a dickhead what
do I do
now?”

“let me
operate.”

he squeezes and
lifts my chin til
my mouth opens
and he looks in
close and he
picks and clicks and pricks
at my bottom teeth and
I roll my eyes
to the ceiling
sky
and finally
he snatched
that little pubic hair
with a pair
of tweezers and
I kissed him.

he kissed me and
said, “that was
arousing let’s
go to bed.”

and I said…

“cancel the
dentists appointment
first.” ©cait collins 2000